A Year Later...

Dear friends, I must apologise for my absence. Since my last post, I have been extraordinarily busy. In December 2009, I was kidnapped and held hostage by a band of marauding pirates. I don't wish to go in to detail here, but suffice to say I was extremely popular with the men and, for the first time, I am glad that I am barren. It turns out that sometimes being able to remove one's dentures is a selling point.

I am pleased to announce that I have recently completed my twentieth book. My study on Vita Sackville-West is set to be another of my best sellers. 'We're Not All Fish Lovers' is out in hardback on the 1st December. I shall undertake a tour of Britain and make personal appearances at most branches of Ahler's, The Book Sellers. I look forward to meeting my public and I would like to assure those of you who queued for hours last time that I will make an appearance, no matter how many eggs are thrown.

In addition to this, I am thrilled to have been asked to adapt Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol for the Pokeingham Players. I attended a rehearsal at the Church Hall on Tuesday and I am pleased to report that my Crachit is very fresh and totally believeable.