Rather Exciting News

December already. Where does the time go? Well, I am very busy and important but what do YOU do? Preparations for Christmas are well under way here in Pokeingham-Softly-on-the-Wold. The Village Christmas Tree has been erected in the square and late last night the lights were switched on to the strains of the Church Choir. I say strains as unfortunately Miss Biddisham was having her Septic Tank purged at the time, never pleasant.

Still, as the season of goodwill to all men approaches, I take it on myself to wish the world a happy and peaceful Christmas from all here in frosty Somerset.

The exciting news of which I speak in the title to this post is this; on 6th, 7th & 8th March 2009 I shall be spending the weekend at the Heywood Mount Hotel in Tenby, Wales. There is the possibility that a murder may be taking place and I shall be on had to solve the crime. However, I cannot do this alone so the lovely people and the Heywood Mount Hotel have made their luxurious facilities available to the general public as well. You may join myself and the cast of Perfect Murder for a fun filled weekend on Murder Mystery Intrigue.

For prices and more details, visit http://www.heywoodmount.co.uk/ or give them a call and I am sure they will be able to accomodate you. It's not just a hotel mind, there are Spa facilities and a rather lovely swimming pool as well. I look forward to meeting you.

The Festive Season Approaches

I apologise for not writing sooner, but my Private Detective business http://www.perfectmurder.co.uk/ has been taking up an awful lot of my time. I have travelled the length of the country solving cases of one sort or another.

Before we know it, Christmas will be upon us. The year has simply flown by. Traditionally, Pokeingham-Softly-on-the-Wold, my home village, holds a Candlelight Carol service the Sunday before Christmas. It has always been a well attended and Revd. Cheeseman works very hard in the months leading up to it to ensure it will be a success.

As usual, this year he ordered thiry-four large Jaffas from Prestwicks in the village well in advance. These will be decorated with ribbons, cloves and candles and carried by the village children in procession through the lanes to Our Lady of the Morning After.

Prestwicks is a most reliable company when it comes to fruit, but this year Revd. Cheeseman has been let down. Prestwicks has been burgled and all orders have been cancelled. This has a knock on effect throughout the area. Poor Gladys Musquash has not been able to sit down on a hard chair for almost a week and since her inflatable sprung a slow puncture in June, it seems her Christmas may be most uncomfortable.

I write this mesage by way of appeal; please, if you are offered six large tubes of Preparation H, thirty un-rippened Jaffa Oranges or a powerful Hot Water Bottle and Home Enema Kit, contact me immediately. A reward of £1/7/6d is offered by Mrs Musquash for the safe return of her medication.

Also, I would like to say how delighted I was to visit my lovely friends at Tor FX recently and no doubt they were pleased to benefit from my knowledge of Foreign Currency trading.

Further Excitement

Just time for a brief update before I jet off on holiday once again. I can scarcely believe that it is almost August - it has been such a busy year what with laying tracks for the Album, the publicity drive for my book and of course the usual round of Summer Fetes and Flower Shows one is called upon to attend.

Last week I was in Nempnett Thrubwell opening a new Supermarket. It was most fortunate I was there, as the Mayor was unexpectedly taken ill during the cutting of the ribbon. I immediately noticed an odour of bitter almonds on his breath - a clear sign of poisoning by Potassium Cyanide.

Instructing everyone to remain calm, I swung into action and began an investigation. Clearly something had been slipped into the Mayor's pre-unveiling Bloody Mary and it was down to me to deduce the identity of the slipper.

As with all these things, it quickly became apparent that the Mayor had recently passed approval on a Planning Application that would have meant a further Super Market being built just a few hundred yards down the road. The owner of the local convenience shop, a Mrs Virginia Throbbing was my number one suspect - but did I manage to uncover the truth behind the poisoned cocktail? Read of my exploits in my new short story "Miss Mapletree and the Smell of Fear", to published soon in Bella (includes free gift - Miss Mapletree's Griptite Denture Adhesive').

Miss Mapletree - The Album

With my latest book now out in hardback ("The Devil Wears Winceyette"), I have turned my hand to another of my passions and talents. Following the world-wide success of my critcally acclaimed first album, "Colour Me Janet", I have decided it would be churlish to deprive my fans any longer and had begun recording a new compilation. I intend this to be available by Autumn - watch this space for updates.

On a personal note, I would like to thank the person that sent me such a lovely fan letter last week. I am of course thrilled that you enjoyed "The Case of the Cramped Compartment" and I have no doubt that, as you put it, you could fill any cramped compartment I cared to suggest. Perhaps next time you should label the photograph as I cannot work out which way up it goes.

This week I am visiting Cornwall and will be staying an old friend of mine, Lady Wormley-Scott. She had a nasty fall last week and I have been called upon to lend my support. I will, of course, leave it with her having no further use for it myself. I have decided to motor down, so should you see a Daimler with a large trunk strapped to the back, please wave.

Best wishes to you all...until next time. Janet

Perfect Murder

Today sees the launch of my new Website and I think that you should visit it immediately. It's very exciting and the ideal place to stop by if you are looking for the very best in Murder Mystery Entertainment.

Having been in the business for over ten years, Perfect Murder are experienced professionals and can guarantee you a successful event.

It's all about fun of course, but even the most demanding of sleuths will be intrigued by my storylines. For further information please click on the link below and find out how you can experience A Perfect Murder. We're DYING to entertain you...

http://www.perfectmurder.co.uk/